


I Can't Decide (Take the Part or No?)

by Anonymous_As_Myself



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Deceit knows how to play less savory people, He also might have a slight gambling habit but wE DON'T NEED TO TALK ABOUT THAT, Hence the title, I tried to hard not to excessively describe the dancing, Other, Platonic Roceit, Roman doesn't, Short summary but it's not that complicated an idea, Songfic, They sing a song, You cannot convince me Deceit wasn't a drama kid, and then I wrote this, but not the soft kind, his name is Dimitri in this, it's 'I can't Decide' by Scissor Sisters, more he's a little shit, roommate au, sorta - Freeform, sympathetic deceit, this is based off a post on tumblr i made about exactly how there isn't enough of that, this is mostly dialogue so I hope you can tell who is talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-21 03:45:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16569008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonymous_As_Myself/pseuds/Anonymous_As_Myself
Summary: Roman’s got a....less than savory part in his newest show, and isn’t sure if he can really pull it off. Luckily for his ego, an unlikely mentor steps in.





	I Can't Decide (Take the Part or No?)

**Author's Note:**

> There is not enough sympathetic deceit in this fandom where he's like...not evil, but not 'soft sweet pure boy', more like 'can be helpful but WILL glue your shoes to the ceiling just to be an asshole. I made a post about it here https://virge-of-a-breakdown.tumblr.com/post/179687513545/you-know-what-i-really-want-right-now-some, and decided to make the little ending example into a fic, so without further ado..

The door slammed shut, the sound accompanied by a loud, long-suffering groan that echoed through the apartment. Roman tossed his duffelbag to the floor by the door, promptly stepping over to the couch in order to faceplant onto the cushions and let out another  _ pained _ whine.

“You okay there, kiddo?” Came a voice-Patton’s, judging by the words chosen and the sweet yet concerned tone. Roman rolled over onto his back, throwing an arm over his eyes half out of dramatics and half because the position left him staring straight up at the light.

“Ah, dear Patton-call me the Boulder, as I am  _ deeply _ conflicted.”

He heard a stifled giggle-and smiled a bit at having made Patton laugh despite his  _ obvious  _ trauma. Then there was a soft  _ fwump _ -and Roman let out a cry of protest at being tossed up into the air like that-but shut his mouth upon seeing it was only because Patton had sat down a little too quickly on the couch. He decided to sit up. 

“What’s up with him?”

Roman jolted a bit-he hadn’t noticed Virgil descend from the stairs, dressed in a gray t-shirt with an alien on it and purple sweatpants. The emo always claimed the best thing about working as a night guard (once he had gotten over the buried memories of FNAF tormenting him constantly, though it helped that the job was at a museum and not an animatronic-filled pizzeria)  was getting to nap throughout most of the day.

“Oh, it’s just a  _ sin _ of a casting choice,” Roman announced, yanking off his red leather jacket and tossing it over with his bag-nearly hitting Virgil in the face as he made his way over to sit at the foot of an armchair, to which the actor received an icy glare. “We finally got the cast list for the show-”

  
“Ooooh! That’s exciting!” Patton burst out-before he realized that by Roman’s entrance, the choice was not ideal. His face fell.

“...did you not get cast?”

  
“No, I did.” Roman bit his lip. 

“Then what’s wrong?” 

Logan had entered from the hall as well at some point-though his quieter voice and slightly louder approach hadn’t startled the actor as much. Great.  _ The gang’s all here. _

“Well, it’s  _ Catch Me If You Can _ ..and I got cast as Frank Jr.”   
A moment of silence. Right. He’d have to explain to the uninformed. 

“He’s the main character..but his whole deal is that he’s a conman! He’s constantly lying and cheating his way into every little thing and wandering around without a care in the world romancing everyone he can!”   
“Wow, wonder why they cast you for that,” Virgil muttered, sarcasm evident in his voice-and Roman huffed loudly. One of his ‘Offended Princey Noises’ as the others had taken to calling it.

“I  _ do  _ wonder! I’m a noble prince, I play heroes! If not that then friendly side characters, I am not a villain!”

“But I assume you didn’t turn down the role?” Logan inquired, sitting down in the armchair that Virgil had curled up at the foot of. There was a pause, and Roman nodded a bit sheepishly.

“I mean it’s a fun show, and I don’t want to pass up the chance..”  


“Then wouldn’t it be merely a chance to expand your..repertoire?” Logan pressed, frowning.

“Well I guess, but this is my first show with this director-and she thinks I’m meant to play such a dastardly part?”   


“I’m sure it’s not that!” Patton interjected, “You said he’s a charmer, maybe they picked up on that part of you!”   


“I guess..” Roman mumbled, but there was still uncertainty in his voice. For a moment his eyes flicked down-and of all people, it had to be Virgil who caught onto the actual reason he was getting cold feet.

“Come on, Princey-you’re an actor aren’t you? You can play more than one type of part, it’s not like all your skill is gonna fly out the window if you’re wearing black.”   


“I know that!” Roman burst out-a bit too loudly. The other three shared a Look. There was a pause.

“Ro...if you don’t want to do it you know you don’t have to, right?” Patton offered gently-and while he appreciated it, Roman waved it off.

“I know! I just...I don’t have experience playing villains, and I’m not..not totally sure how to go about it,” he finally admitted, hunching in on himself a bit.

“I mean, I’d help, but the whole ‘charisma’ thing is about as far from me as pastels, all I can do is creep people out,” Virgil shrugged. The latter comment got him a warning look from Patton.

“Okay, okay, geez! Not in a bad way, I just mean I’m not like..good at flirting. Or talking to people. Or existing outside of my room.”   
This fumble did not free Virgil of Patton’s Dad Stare,  but that wasn’t Roman’s problem.

“Seriously though, how am I supposed to do this?”   


“Try your best!”   


“The same way you always do, I would assume. ‘Get into the headspace’ or whatever?”   


“I mean you could always just turn down the role.”   


_ “Virgil!” _   


“I could help.”

Roman froze. That last comment was from a far lower, smoother voice-and its source had just appeared, peeking its (or rather his) head out from around the corner of the kitchen door.

“Dimitri?? What are you doing here?” Was the first thing to come out of Roman’s mouth, naturally.

“Well it’s not like I live here too or anything,” muttered the last resident of the house, slinking out of the kitchen with a can of Sprite in his hand. “And I heard you were talking about villain roles.”   


Roman blinked. “Wait.  _ You _ do musical theater?”

Dimitri shot him an almost offended look as he took a drink out of the can. “The flair didn’t give it away? I was in drama all through high school,  _ oh all-knowing prince _ , did you think my entire life consisted of lying and watching 1940’s musicals?”   


“Yes.”   


“Yes.”   


“Yes.”   


“Yes.”

Dimitri glared, leaning over the back of the empty armchair to the right of the couch and taking another drink, like he was chugging beer instead of lemon-lime soda. “Wow. I feel so appreciated.”   


“Look, Dee, you do kinda spend ninety-nine percent of your life either in your hole of a room or letting a snake loose in the fridge. What ‘flair’ are you even talking about here?” Virgil pointed out, leaning back against Logan’s legs. Dimitri only rolled his eyes, brushing his hair out of the way of his eyes and exposing the port wine stain over half his face to the light.

“First off, your room is _ so much better than mine _ . Second of all, don’t act like you know my life, your nights are spend wandering around an empty building full of old paint,  _ I  _ like to have fun on my nights out.”

“Oh, you mean that “game” you keep mentioning you’re busy with? Virgil raised an eyebrow-the word ‘game’ enclosed in heavy air quotes. Logan nodded in agreement.

“The one you’ve never assured us is one hundred percent legal?”

“I never said it was anything  _ ill _ egal either!” Dimitri protested, putting up his hands, but Patton’s stare had now been turned on him.   


“Dee..”

“Patt, come on, you don’t think I’d go and get myself arrested now would you?”   


“That only implies you’re not getting  _ caught. _ ”

Dimitri gave a long sigh, turning back to Roman. “Look. Jack Jr. from  _ Catch Me If You Can _ -who better to learn from then someone who pretty much lives the role?” He gave a half-bow, a smirk playing at his lips-and despite his untucked black button-up, sweatpants, and can of soda, Roman could see it. Dimitri in a suit, pet snake Cee wrapped around his neck as he shuffled cards with a challenging grin.

_ Hm… _

“Well I suppose it couldn’t  _ hurt.. _ ” he admitted after a long moment of silence-and swore he saw a sparkle of excitement in Dimitri’s eyes.

“Well then, let’s begin, shall we? We even have an audience.”

“Fine. You going to demonstrate?” Roman raised an eyebrow. Dimitri sighed heavily, but the sparkle hadn’t left-he wasn’t really disappointed. In fact, Roman could almost see the gears turning in his head.

“One moment.”   
He placed the can of Sprite down onto the table and turned, heading down the hall and into his room. He returned with his phone in one had, and a bowler hat in the other. Roman shared a slightly confused look with the others, but Dimitri didn’t seem to be paying attention. He scrolled through the phone for a few moments, muttering.

“Alright...I’ll bet you’d like a song. This could-no, not quite. Too dark, too sad, too loud..oh, now that could work. A little more harsh, but devil-may-care..and he’s got to know this one what with how much Fandom Tumblr over there blasts it..” he looked up then-only to be met with four pairs of eyes fixed on him. 

“What?”   


“What exactly are you doing?” it was Logan who asked, a bit surprisingly. Or unsurprisingly, given his complete lack of understanding of the whole concept of theater. Dimitri sighed, selecting the song.

“Well, considering our resident extra-vert’s  _ complete hatred _ of enthusiastic, constant singing, a song would be a  _ terrible _ way to start off. Now let’s get into character, shall we?”   
With that, Dimitri pressed play, and popped the bowler hat onto his head, a look of mock remorse falling onto his face as he leaned sideways against the chair.

 

_ “It’s..not….easy having yourself a good time…” _ _  
_ _ “Greasing up those bets and betters, watching out they don’t four letter. Fuck and kiss you both at the same time..” _ he smirked, blowing a kiss in Roman’s general direction-and maybe enjoying Roman’s miffed expression.

_ “Smells like something I’d forgotten, curled up died and now it’s rotten.” _ __  
__ “I’m not a gangster tonight, don’t want to be the bad guy, I’m just a loner baby, and now you’ve gotten in my way..”   
His expression, one of drippingly fake innocence, shifted into a wide smirk as he strode across the living room with far more poise than any of the others had ever seen-placing a finger under Roman’s chin-and then pushing him away.

_ “I can’t decide, whether you should live or die! Oh you’ll probably go to heaven, please don’t hang your head and cry-no wonder why, my heart feels dead inside, it’s cold and hard and petrified! Lock your doors, and close the blinds! We’re going for a ride.” _

He froze in place- leaning back casually over the couch, glancing over his shoulder-then paused the music. Spinning in place and letting the grin melt off his face, he looked at Roman expectantly.

“Your turn.”   
Roman’s poetic and  _ highly eloquent  _ response, was a simple “Huh?”

Dimitri sighed. “You know the song, don’t you?”   


“Well yes, but-”   


“Then sing it. You can even borrow the hat if you must.”   


“I don’t need some dumb bowler to get into character!” Roman protested-and Dimitri raised an eyebrow, holding up the phone once more.   


“Prove it.”   
He pressed play.

Roman looked frantic for a moment-caught off guard, but it was clear he wasn’t going to be given any more than about two measures worth of time to think.  _ Okay. _

_ Picture. _

_ Dim room. You and Dimitri. Glass of wine in one hand maybe..one-upping him. _

He’d never admit it, but imagining the bowler helped.

_ “It’s..a..bitch convincing people to like you..” _ overconfident swagger in the walk, not a care in the world..

_ “If I stop now call me a quitter, if lies were cats you’d be a litter-” _ he couldn’t help a smirk at the rather fitting lyric- reaching out with one finger to place a light tap on Dimitri’s nose. The shorter man actually broke his attitude of the bored challenger at that, just to reel back with an extremely offended look on his face. It only spurred Roman on.   
_ “Pleasing everyone isn’t like you..” _

_ “Dancing jigs until I’m crippled, slug ten drinks I won’t get pickled.” _ _  
_ _ “I’ve got to hand it to you, you’ve played by all the same rules, but it takes the truth to fool me, and now you’ve made me angry!” _

The music paused again-and Roman paused, a bit surprised. Dimitri, still looking miffed, crossed his arms.   


“Absolutely  _ terrible _ .”   


“Hey!!”   


“You heard me, just awful. Perhaps not as abysmal as-”   


“Don’t listen to that, Ro! I think you did great!”   


Both actors turned briefly, nearly having forgotten about the other three residents of the room. Logan was scrolling through something on his phone, Virgil just seemed to be absently watching-but Patton was grinning wide and offering a thumbs up.   


“Ha! See? I couldn’t be terrible if I tried!”   


Dimitri only rolled his eyes at the claim. “Fine. You did better, but you’re still shaky, and you dropped character too quickly to be completely in it.”   


Silence. That...that was true. Character headspaces were tricky, and admittedly, Roman hadn’t found his yet.    
Still stung to have it pointed out.

“Well then maybe you’re just a bad teacher,” he shot back-but Dimitri just lifted up the phone once more, raising one eyebrow.   


“Maybe you need to start paying closer attention.”   


Tap.

_ “I can’t decide, whether you should live or die! Oh you’ll probably go to heaven, please don’t hang your head and cry!”  _

He brushed past Roman, dismissive as the lyrics. The attitude slid back onto his face as easily as water flowing across stones-and Roman glared. Sure, he wasn’t the best, but he could show this little sewer-snake that he wasn’t  _ abysmal! _

Ignoring the glare, Dimitri leaned back onto the wall, pulling his hat off his head to toy with it, the smirk spreading back onto his face.

_ “No wonder why, my heart feels dead inside, it’s cold and hard and petrified! Lock your doors and close the blinds, we’re going for a ride!” _   
He opened his mouth to begin the next line-but to Dimitri’s surprise, Roman’s voice joined his.

_ “Oh, I could throw you in a lake, or feed you poisoned birthday cake, I won’t deny I’m gonna miss you when you’re gone..” _   
Roman turned towards Dimitri, twirling one hand around as if in thought-and while for a moment the shorter man looked surprised, he didn’t hesitate.

_ “Oh I could bury you alive, but you might wake up with a knife, and kill me when I’m sleeping that’s why…” _

_ “I can’t decide, whether you should live or die! Oh you’ll probably go to heaven, please don’t hang your head and cry-no wonder why, my heart feels dead inside, it’s cold and hard and petrified! Lock your doors and close the blinds, we’re going for a ride!” _

They finished, the last few bars of music playing out-facing each other, mirror images of the same dastardly grin on their faces.

“That was awesome!”   
Patton broke the silence, clapping with a large smile on his face-and after a pause, Logan and Virgil joined in, though not as fast or loud.   
Dimitri leaned back, and Roman swore he saw what looked like a mildly impressed look on his two-toned face. Roman grinned smugly, folding his arms over his chest.

“‘Awful’, hm?”   


“Okay so fine you did  _ better _ , maybe you won’t  _ totally _ embarrass yourself onstage,” the shorter man scoffed, turning on his heel and beginning to slink back into the darkness.

“Good job to you too, The Gonda-liars.”

“Hmph.”   
Dimitri slunk from the room-though before his face was obscured by the shadows of the hall, Roman definitely did catch a hint of a grin. But then it was back to his three-man audience to offer a bow. Virgil groaned, Logan sighed, and Patton giggled.

Yep.

“That was so great, kiddo!”   


Roman smiled, even a bit sheepishly, flopping back down on the couch next to Patton.

“Still think it’ll kill you to play a shady guy?” Virgil asked, raising a teasing eyebrow. 

“...okay, so I admit I may have been a bit-”

“Overdramatic?” Virgil.   


“Excessive? Pessimistic?” Logan.   


“Unsure?” Patton.

“I was going to say quick to judge!” Roman exclaimed with a pout, but if you looked for it you could see the playful twinkle in his eyes. “But..I admit that was a bit helpful.”   


“Looked like more that a bit, Princey. Or you just don’t want to admit that someone might be better than you at any sort of acting?”   
Roman almost retorted to Virgil’s little jab, but after seeing the emo stick his tongue out a bit to indicate he at least could have been a bit more serious, Roman decided it wasn’t worth it. For now. 

“So, are you going to take the part, in that case?” Logan questioned, and Roman paused for a moment...then a slow smile spread across his face.   


“You know, Legally Bland, I think I will. Can’t have a new director doubting my flexibility, can I?”   


“What flexibility?”   


“Virgil!”   


“Personally-” Patton interjected, “I thought it was great you and Dee have something in common. Since he isn’t around that much.”   
“I guess.” But the memory was still burning in his mind-the competitive grinning, the snide comments that stung just enough to spur him on-similar to Virgil’s in a way. And..admiration. Yes, he’d just never expected that kind of a side to come out of their secretive roommate.   


“I might have to ask him for another duet sometime, see if he’s got that flexibility too.”


End file.
